


Yixing's Depressed Express. Choo choo!

by Alice_Mad_Hatter



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Baek is pan, Depressed Zhang Yixing | Lay, Diary/Journal, Everyone else is very gay, F/M, I Don't Even Know, I changed everyone's age, I didn't plan anything for this, I might add SHINee and other groups, I wrote this because i just got rejected and i needed to write something, I'm just gonna go with the flow for this fic, It's set somewhere in America, Junmyeon is gay, Kim Joonmyun | Suho Is A Sweetheart, M/M, Mostly based on how my college works, Past Kim Joonmyun | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris, Swearing, The others will make small appearances, This is not set in Korea btw, Yixing makes jokes about dying a lot, Zhang Yixing feels too much, i don't know if i'll keep this tbh, sorry - Freeform, yixing is bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-03 21:05:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16333466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Mad_Hatter/pseuds/Alice_Mad_Hatter
Summary: Hey! You! If you found this, that means A.) You stole it or B.) I dropped it. If it's A, then you can go fuck yourself. If it's B, then please return this to me. The name is Zhang Yixing and I live in the South dorms in room 525.Inspired by, The diary of Oh Sehun by GabbyWritesStutff. Go check it out, I highly recommend it.





	1. October 17th, 2018

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The diary of Oh Sehun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13146882) by [GabbyWritesStuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabbyWritesStuff/pseuds/GabbyWritesStuff). 



> I am going to say that even though this was inspired by The diary of Oh Sehun, it has NOTHING to do with it. I liked the idea of doing a diary fic and GabbyWritesStuff inspired me to write my own. I recommend that people read that fic because it's such an amazing fic.

Dear Diary,

Ew, I don't know if I should start every entry with that. It seems so cliche and typical. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life right now. I guess I could introduce myself, even though it will (hopefully) only be me reading this. My name is Zhang Yixing, I was originally born in Changsha, China, but I moved to the States when I was in middle school. I'm am not emo, I just have a lot of feelings that express themselves with sadness. I am majoring in Education and History with a minor in Asian studies.

I hate college so far and the only reason I bought you was to help me de-stress about things. Don't expect everything to be so professionally written, I'm literally a college student who has way too much work to stress over sentence structures and god damn typos. I don' why I'm talking to you like you're an actual physical person. It's whatever I guess. Oof I need to turn down my edginess tbh. Okay, I realize this is all over the place right now. I just have a lot to say so I write whatever pops into my head. I promise I'll try to be more organized.

Okay, so let me get back to telling myself (I guess) more facts about me. I live in the South dorms on campus. My roommate is Byun Baekhyun and we are both first years at college. Baekhyun is... very eccentric to say the least. It's not a bad thing though, he can definitely speak for the both of us when I don't feel like it. Hmm, what else? OH! I'm actually a bad student who doesn't do much work which stresses me even more out, but I think I'll manage. As long as my parents don't find out.

OOH! Homelife! I am an only child, I live with my mom and dad. They're helping me pay for my tuition and crap so I feel bad when I don't assignments because I do not like the idea of disappointing my parents. I really love my mom a lot, she's such an amazing lady and I miss her cooking a lot. I don't like talking about my dad. I don't have any animals either which fucking suuucks, but one of the dorm halls here are pet-friendly so I could just pop over there if I wanted to.

I have been in college for around 2 months and you were an impulse buy. Baekhyun and I share the fridge, microwave, and TV together. Baekhyun will sometimes share my bed as well, but that's only if he's really sad. Speaking of sad, Baek and I along with Baek's friend Jongdae are having sad boi hours. I got rejected by a girl I really liked, Baek has feelings for someone, but the guy has a girlfriend, and Jongdae is having issues with his boyfriend.

Gotta love college am I right? It's just so fucking fun and stressful. I've only made like a billion jokes dying. We were listening to sad boi songs, then we watched DeadMeats, and now we're watcing Game Grumps. I'm very exhausted right now so I think I'll end this entry here. Hopefully, I'll write soon. Goodnight!


	2. October 18th, 2018

Uh hi,

Today was okay I guess. Nothing too exciting happened, except for the fact that I forgot that one of my classes were cancelled and I stood outside the door for a while until I checked my email. It's also really fucking cold out and I forgot my winter jacket back home (no not China) and my mom can't drive up to bring it to me, so she said she'd mail it to me next week. I also don't have any class tomorrow, but I do have to work at a little cafe on campus tomorrow from 12pm-3pm. 

I like my job, I really do, but sometimes the customers can be real assholes. Like when our prices go up, I can't control that shit! It's not my fault that America has terrible inflation! However, one of my coworkers are really cute so I don't mind working there too much. I think his name is Junmyeon? and he might be friends with Chanyeol who is Baek's crush who has a girlfriend. 

Junmyeon is just really nice with the customers and he's always smiling and joking around with them and it's all very wholesome. He's such a perfect boy. I haven't talked to him yet, but I will...eventually. He's just too nice and with the whole thing that happened with my crush rejecting me, it's stressing me out a lot. I do have one class with Junmyeon though so maybe I could just talk to him there and get to know him as a person.

I'm afraid of rejection though. I don't like being emotionally hurt. It happened a lot during high school, but they weren't as nice as she was. I just don't want to get rejected again, especially if it's Junmyeon. He's so nice and I hate it when nice people reject me because they do it so nicely so I can't get mad at them for not being nice. I just get mad at myself for being so fucking dumb.

I guess it will be sad hours again. I'll just probably watch Hell's Kitchen so I can finish season one. WHICH I'M PISSED ABOUT ELSIE GOING HOME BECAUSE JESSICA DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN THE TOP THREE BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T DO ANY OF THE DAMN WORK! Sorry, I got real heated just now. Hopefully, when older me reads this he still feels the same way because if he doesn't then he needs to go die. Future Zhang Yixing if you are reading this and you actually like Jessica then go jump into the river, okay? Just kidding.

I think I might be crazy or is this what happens when you live with an undiagnosed mental illness and can't get any treatment for it. Idk. I feel like I am losing my sanity sometimes, I do a lot of dumb shit that I always regret doing. It's just really hard to be in college where I have my own responsibility and freedom. Like, high school did not teach me any of this.

Also, can I just say how much I hate cold weather? Like I love springtime because it's similar to fall, but it's warmer and has brighter colours. Winter and summer are my two least favourites because it's either really really hot or really really cold. I like a mix of the two a.k.a spring!!! I'm really all over the place with this entry tonight, well whoever is reading this that is not me will return it so they can keep their sanity with them, unlike me. I'm gonna call it a night. Goodnight Diary!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any mistakes please tell me so I can fix them. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! <3


	3. October 21st, 2018

Dear Diary,

There's someone in the dorm next to mine fuck yelling and it's not even noon yet. She always gets like this when she's on the phone with someone. I also have written in you for three days and I feel bad about that. Uh, work was bearable since Junmyeon worked with me on Friday and Saturday. We didn't really talk much, but he was helpful when I asked how to work the espresso machine. He's such a nice person. After he left though, it got really hard. My manager was being a dickhead to me for like no reason at all. Like, it's not my fault he didn't properly train me.

I also have a 4-page essay that I did not even start yet, so I have to work on that. Baekhyun left for the weekend, but he's coming back today and we'll probably go eat at one of the dining halls around 6. One of the dining halls here is All You Can Eat. All we have to do is swipe our meal card once and then we pig out. We have one place that has stir-fry, which is the best. Even though the options are limited. I also get grilled cheese there, which is the bomb.

I had my dance class on Friday, which was very fun and relaxing. I met a really good dancer and his name is Jongin, he also introduced me to his friends Taemin and Sehun. They're all really nice people and we just goofed off and did random dances. Taemin is a really good dancer, he's very like flexible with his body and he makes dancing so easy. They're all really good at dancing and they asked me if I wanted to be on their team for the showcase, I said yes because I didn't have a theme for the showcase yet.

I still haven't eaten breakfast yet, but it'll be fine. I still need to shower and do some laundry. Being independent is actually really weird and very strange. I'm not used to it and that's been like the hardest part for me. I really can't handle taking care of myself, but I like taking care of other people. OH WAIT! I forgot to tell you, that I set it up so that I can get counselling through the school for free, I think. I don't know if it's free, but I hope it is.

I also have to meet with my RD because I"m failing some classes, but I already talked to my advisor so I don't really understand why I need to talk to her. It's whatever, to be honest. I need to homework for my classes and eat so I'll stop for right now, I might write again later, who knows. Goodbye for now diary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID Y'ALL SEE YIXING IN THE CONCEPT TRAILER!!!!!!!! MY BOY IS BLONDE AND BEAUTIFUL! I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED OFR THIS GUYS YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!


	4. October 23rd, 2018

Dear Diary,

Even though it's 1 am, I'm talking about Monday. Today has been fucked up. I forgot to set my alarm so I ended up missing my morning class and then I had to rush to work because I was almost late. Work was okay I guess. I didn't work with Junmyeon today so that was a bummer. I also didn't have time to drink my morning coffee so I feel so fucking frazzled and out of it right now. I didn't sleep until 4 am.

I got into a fight with Baekhyun today. We are both really stressed out with everything and at this point, I just want to drop out of school. Like, I just feel like I'm wasting my parents' money by being here and failing my classes. I've never been this stressed out about anything. I feel so fucking dumb and worthless. Diary, I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to go home and be with my family.

I don't even think I'll write much more. I have homework to do and I'm just really tired and numb at this point. I think it might be sad boi hours again, but Baekhyun is asleep so I can't be too sad. I also am not writing much because Baekkie is asleep and I don't want my light to bug him. So goodnight Diary, expect an entry later(?) today I guess. Time is weird when you haven't fallen asleep yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter because I'm not feeling too well. I am dealing a lot right now in my life so I might update chapters, but they might be very short. Don't forget to leave kudos and comments! Have a nice day/night

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be updated sporadically


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